Michele Filgate: What My Mother and I Dont Talk About



Unknowable to them as well There s no fixing it not really but we can start talking about it Varied in scope and focus this collection of essays is the most real thing I ve read about the complexity of a relationship with a mother figure The personal essay is in fine form and I m here for it It didn t live up to my expectations despite the essays being written by a variety of very interesting authors I appreciated the honesty and vulnerability of each writer however I felt like some of the essays didn t uite hit the brief although they were interesting despite this These essays are varied in style and subject matter but that is fitting since we all have different relationships with our mothers I really noticed the recurring theme of setting boundaries as adults and the damaging power of denial and silence They made me very reflective for instance I realized the expectations I had for how my mother would change after my father s death were completely wrong and I have yet to adjust to the realityI had previously read the Kiese Laymon essay I think it s a chapter in the book Heavy An American Memoir but maybe reworked a bit There were a few I skimmed because I did not connect with themMy highlightsWhat My Mother and I Don t Talk About Michele FilgateSilence is what fi. R psychotherapist mother And Julianna Baggott talks about having a mom who tells her everything As Filgate writes “Our mothers are our first homes and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them” There’s relief in breaking the silence Acknowledging what we couldn’t say for so long is one way to heal our relationships with others and perhaps most important with ourselves Contributors include Cathi Hanauer Melissa Febos Alexander Chee Dylan Landis Bernice L McFadden Julianna Baggott Lynn Steger Strong Kiese Laymon Carmen Maria Machado André Aciman Sari Botton Nayomi Munaweera Brandon Taylor and Leslie Jamiso.

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An essay collection chock full of talent and heart from Alexander Chee to Kiese Laymon to Leslie Jamison Good stuff 14 writers share the complexity of their feelings and relationships with their mothers It seems mine is simultaneously all of it and none of it For most of our lives we see and experience our mothers through our lens our views of what is said and done to us And then the point begins with looking at our mothers as individuals in their own right with stories of their own Many years are spent in that floundering between desiring approval and receiving not receiving that approval and running away to be free from that burden of desires and expectations And whether we like it or not for better for worse we are almost always coming back to this first relationship to understand the uestion what am I all about Found this book disappointing I really had high hopes of liking it but the overall writing not the subject matter of most of the stories of a lot of the stories is not great I wished the person that had put the book together had thought about that It is a shame could have been a marvelous collection This was a heavy read Essays from celebrated authors about dysfunctional relationships with their mothers Keep your Kleenex handy Enough with the Hallmark ONE OF NPR’S BEST BOOKS OF 2019 Most Anticipated Reads of 2019 by Publishers Weekly BuzzFeed The Rumpus Lit Hub The Week and Ellecom Fifteen brilliant writers explore what we don’t talk to our mothers about and how it affects us for better or for worseAs an undergraduate Michele Filgate started writing an essay about being abused by her stepfather It took her than a decade to realize what she was actually trying to write how this affected her relationship with her mother When it was finally published the essay went viral shared on social media by Anne Lamott Rebecca Solnit and many others The outpouring of responses gav.

Ards and blah blah Mother s Day platitudes this superb collection of honest essays focuses on the real world complexity of being mothered and mothering of being human Top notch contributors All the audiobook performers are marvelous This collection of essays was unfortunately a bit lackluster for me This collection of essays is human vulnerable and at times cathartic It is uneven at times but highlights uniue literary voices and encourages self reflection and forgivenessIt is not really what I thought it would be and with so many voices there were obviously some essays that stand out as higher uality that resonated with me and made a lasting impression I was pleasantly surprised to see the diversity in gender ethnicity economic background life trauma experiences etc that was included in the collection There were not many essays that hit on the central theme of the first titular essay and instead ended up being stories of flawed often misunderstood women whose lives have confused or alienated their childrenI m grateful for the vulnerability displayed by the authors included in this collection It made me want to be vulnerable too I d love to sit in a circle with all of them each of us holding hands Our mothers are unknowable whether they are friends or strangers We re. E Filgate an idea and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers While some of the writers in this book are estranged from their mothers others are extremely close Leslie Jamison writes about trying to discover who her seemingly perfect mother was before ever becoming a mom In Cathi Hanauer’s hilarious piece she finally gets a chance to have a conversation with her mother that isn’t interrupted by her domineering but lovable father André Aciman writes about what it was like to have a deaf mother Melissa Febos uses mythology as a lens to look at her close knit relationship with he.