Anonymous: The Holy Bible

Ventually I guess they just decided to pull a sort of ultimate Alan Smithee but of course once all culpability is gone I think a lot of the authors lost their will to make this into a good book and so it just got published as is I now there are a lot of fans of this book which makes sense I guess since it is really a lot like that Da Vinci Code book which was also a bestseller It is pretty fantastical and has a lot of really strong characters like Jesus though he s a bit of a Mary Sue isn t he and Onan One of the main reasons I read it was because there s this really awesome Fanfic this guy Milton wrote about it and apparently a lot of other authors were inspired by it but I have to admit this is one case where the Fanfic is a lot better than the originalI guess it s like how sometimes the first example of a genre ends up not really fitting because it feels so unsophisticated and erratic I High Tide at Midnight know that it can take a long time to try to get these ideas down pat Maybe someone will rewrite it someday and try to get it to make some sense Then again it wasn t that great in the first placeThere was some really great writing in the book though Some of the poetic statements were really cool like do unto others or through a glass darkly but I heard that those parts were stolen from Shakespeare who stole them from Kyd so I m not really sure what to believeI think this is one of those cases where the controversy surrounding the book really trumps the book itself like The Catcher in the Rye or Gigli In fact the Bible is a lot like Gigli This is the only book you need for life This is life s instruction manual It will give you history answers for EVERY issue of life comfort in times of sorrow encouragment prophecy only book with prophecies that all came true and best of all the TRUTH of why we are here This book is actually made of 66 books written by 40 authors over 1500 years It has stood the test of time I encourage anyone to give it a try Please do notnock it till you try it And you dont have to start in the beginning Try the book of John it is a great place to start Certainly not life changing or anything The plot was hard to follow and the editing was horrible The characters were painfully one dimensional and this Jesus guy delivered some of the worst dialogue I ve ever read All in all I found it too long and it took itself way too seriously The fact that it sells so well is beyond me and the way people hold it up you d think God himself had written the damn thing The Holy Inspired and inerrant word of God I can say no than READ IT I believe in one God the Father Almighty Maker of heaven and earth and of all things visible and invisible And in one Lord Jesus Christ the only begotten Son of God begotten of the Father before all worlds God of God Light of Light very God of very God begotten not made being of one substance with the Father by whom all things were made Who for us men for our salvation came down from heaven and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary and was made man and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate He suffered and was buried and the third day He rose again according to the Scriptures and ascended into heaven and sits on the right hand of the Father and He shall come again with glory to judge the uick and the dead whose ingdom shall have no end And I believe in the Holy Ghost the Lord and Giver of Life who proceeds from the Father and the Son who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified who spoke by the prophets And I believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins and I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come Amen The Nicene Creed As a work of fiction it s laughably bad and poorly conceived Giant logical fallacies poor character development and all the plots are scuttled by a magical invisible entity that s petty cruel tyrannical and amoral There is no central narrative that is worthwhile or even believable and each of the chapters seem written by committee rather than a singular voice Clearly the book was so bad to begin with a team of editors had to step in and make major changes which means no part of this book is even meritorious or reflects an author s vision Frankly I don t see this book having much of an impact If you re a fan of Greek mythology this one s for you A penchant for fiery places gnashing of teeth the number 666 miracle working zombies and utter disdain for homosexuals and feminism are helpful but not reuiredSpoiler alertHe dies in the end Badly edited poor continuity and internal consistency Authors seem to change between books Plot is cliched and thin with virtually no character development save for Judas Iscariot The main characters of Jesus and Moses are entirely one dimensional messianic figures The novel opens with Adam and Eve and then ignores them for the next thousand pages or so The built in bookmark was a nice touch but. For the modern reader and is based on the original King James Version published in 16.

I offer a a logical review for youOkay let s be realistic here people who give this book one star are simply biased and blind to the beauty contained in this book Whether you believe the theology behind this book or not you cannot deny the power and brilliance it contains The whole idea of living is centered around the idea of love A book with the phrase Love you enemy is a book unlike any before it The poetry and proverbs are inspiring and show depth Each book has a clearly different writing style yet they all tie together in a cohesive whole The Bible is a literary masterpiece It tells us to live selflessly and not store up wealth give to the needy and do good to those that hate you Does this sound evil The Old Testament speaks of what the Hebrew people were to do in situations of evil done yet are these not just indicators of evil deserving punishment Later it tells man not to take vengeance into their own hands for it is not man s place This book has given purpose and meaning to billions transforming lives and inspiring the hopeless It is the 1 best seller of all time It is geographically and scientifically sound giving birth to science itself An incredible and riveting read that spans thousands of years Still culturally relevant today Tell me what is not to like I ve already done a review of the New Testament so this one will focus on the first part of the book Looking at other reviews most of them seem to fall into a small number of categories First there are the people who are telling me that this is the word of God and the greatest book ever written Second there are the ones reacting to the first group and telling me that it s worthless Third probably the largest contingent we have the wise guys making flippant remarks And fourth we have a few purists recommending or disapproving of particular translations I don t really find any of these approaches very satisfying I can t accept the statement that this is the word of God and all literally true to pick one of the standard examples Joshua s making the sun stand still appears wildly far fetched I m sorry if that offends the Christians in the audience If it makes you feel any better I ll offend the Scientologists too and say that I don t believe that 75 million years ago Xenu the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy brought billions of his people to Earth in DC 8 like spacecraft stacked them around volcanoes and illed them using hydrogen bombs OK I ll admit that I also like making flippant remarks But let s try and be serious for a moment and apply normal critical standards to this work That involves comparing it other similar books What s similar to the Old Testament It s a tricky uestion To start off with what genre does it belong to It was written so long ago that modern categories don t apply If you attempt to fit it into one of those categories you find it s a bunch of things an epic poem a religious allegory a history and a work of science Now we think of those as being different But when the Old Testament was written they were all mixed up together In particular it s easy to forget that Science as a concept is a very modern invention As recently as the early eighteenth century they called it Natural PhilosophyConsidered as an epic poem based on a religious allegory the Old Testament is often brilliant This is uncontroversial even Richard Dawkins is happy to agree and uotes numerous examples in the relevant chapter of The God Delusion Obvious comparison points are Homer Dante and Milton The only modern author I can think of is Tolkien All of those are arguably better taken as a whole in particular they are coherent but at least in my opinion the best passages in the Old Testament are better than the best passages in the other books If you disagree just off the top of your head uote me a passage from The Iliad The Divine Comedy Paradise Lost or The Silmarillion which you consider superior to the Twenty Third Psalm The Lord is my shepherd if you re no good with numbers Maybe you can come up with something I m curious to see what it is To me though the serious competitor is the New Testament It s by no means inferior as poetry and Jesus is a complex and interesting character than Jehovah The Old Testament position on moral and ethical issues now seems rather dated and Jehovah like Zeus and Odin often comes across as not much than a wise tribal chieftain with unusually powerful technology Jesus on the other hand seems entirely relevant even today and his bold and unconventional ideas still have the capacity to shock and amazeGiven the popularity of Creationism I guess I have to say something about the Bible as a work of science I m inspired here to follow Feynman s treatment of Newton in ED which I read last week Feynman is very respectful towards Newton and says what a great man he was but he also points out where Newton got it wrong We just now now Well put in its historical context I think that the Old Testament was way ahead of its. This up to date version of the universally accepted text from the King James Bible wi.

Time uite apart from the fact that it s great poetry Genesis is a remarkably sophisticated creation myth Consider the first few versesIn the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth And the Earth was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the deep And the Spirit of God moved on the face of the waters And God said Let there be light and there was lightPeople who now about modern cosmology may want to nitpick this On the other hand if you had to describe the first few minutes of the Universe to a bronze age nomad I d like to see you do better You aren t going to be able to explain inflation and nucleosynthesis to them you ll have to improvise a bit and take the odd liberty But later on there are definite mistakes For example God makes the Earth before He makes the stars That s just incorrect and there s no reason why it couldn t have been presented in the opposite order The author of Genesis hadn t got a telescope and it was hard to figure this stuff out from first principlesTo sum up considering that it was written well over two thousand years ago the Old Testament is a startlingly good book that s still well worth reading today Before you Dangerous Work knock it too hard consider how few other books there are from that period that can make similar claims And oh yes I was planning to say something about translations I think some are better than others but the point I wanted to make has already been made so much elegantly by Richard Curtis in his Skinhead Hamlet sketch I ll hand over now and let him conclude by giving you his scholarly opinions on the New English Bible God s first foray into the world of literature has made uite a splash People the world over are talking about this book or series of books if you want to get pedantic and for good reason It makes some grandiose claims it purports to be the complete authority on almost all areas of human endeavor aside from how to choose an internet service provider and even makes threats to the readerOf course English is not God s native tongue and this book has been translated from the original aramaic and hebrew It was then further translated to greek and didn t even have a proper English translation until the late 1600s I have to say either something was lost in the translation or the translator was going for a heavily stylized prose There s lots of thy thou and begats throughout the bookAs for the story itself I was absolutely riveted From the auspicious beginnings let there be light what a clever way to get the ball rolling to the exciting ending with the horses and the destruction the story is full of violence incest adultery begetting and flaming bushes It never lets upIt does get a little preachy at times and I must admit to being uite bewildered at what God s real message is There are contradictions in the rules handed down gay sex is bad but love your brother shrimp was not OK but now it is etc and unraveling the books mysteries is going to be a not insignificant task for any readerTaken as a whole it s really hard to look past its faults I really wanted to like it and gave an honest attempt to understand its teachings But it seems to me that if you re going to claim to be the source of all truth in the universe you d have to do a lot better than this book doesOne star I usually like historical fiction but this particular example has been so mitigated by the poorly hidden didactic tautology of its too many cooks legion of anonymous authors and editors that it was rather difficult to enjoy It also fell into a similar trap to the somewhat similar Da Vinci Code in that it utilized a lot of poorly researched materials and claimed them as fact A lot of the data matched up poorly with other historical accounts especially when it came to numerical data It seems that the authors of this book had a need for an epic beyond epics and several bodycounts beyond the capability of a pre modern war There was also a problem with the moral and ethical position presented by the book Normally I m not one to nit pick about such things since the exploration of ethicism is an important and interesting philosophical task but again this book went in so many different directions with it that it was difficult toeep up Though the intermittent noir ish first person narrative made a lot of moral claims about peace and justice and acceptance the actual actions depicted by the self same protagonist were often in complete contrast such as when he Flavor and Soul killed all the people in the world except one familyIn fact the entire book seemed to be filled with sensationalist violence sex and incest It s surprising that I haven t heard crimes blamed on this book which often orders the reader toill people by throwing stones at them I ve heard the seuel the ur an is even worseEventually I began to suspect that the book was some sort of in joke I think that when all of the editors and writers saw what the other ones were writing they decided to take their names off the book Ll make a handsome addition to any home The revised translation is easily accessible.

Anonymous å 7 REVIEW

ONLINE The Holy Bible author Anonymous –