Daniel Jones: Love Illuminated With the Help of 50000 Strangers



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A year ago I was in a bookshop in the Vancouver International Airport trying to pick a good read for my journey to South Africa to get married to my best friend As I browsed the shelves I came across a book called Love Illuminated Exploring Life s Most Mystifying Subject with the help of 5000 strangers by Daniel Jones who has been the ditor of the New York Times Modern Love column for the last ten years As I stood in front of the shelf debating whether I wanted to spend 20 on the book and whether the book would help me in my new married life an announcement came on the PA system making a last call for the flight I was waiting to board and so I dropped the book and ran Since then I ve wondered about the book Reading Modern Love is a weekly personal ritual and since I always benefit from reading the column s stories I was interested to know what reading thousands of ssays from strangers worldwide over the course of a decade had taught Jones about loveTo pursue this uestion a few days ago I borrowed the book from the public library and have been reading it steadily over the past few nights Last night I finished it and although I njoyed the read I m glad this is not a book that I own Despite the subtitle of the book which uses the word What Next After School ? exploration rather than lessons I thought the book would be about love lessons and practical advice one could apply to their own relationship Instead the book is organized into ten chapters withach chapter titlesubject being one of ten topics related to love Because the book s chapters are not structured very clearly though at times it was not clear where the book was going and the lack of clear direction interfered with my njoyment of the bookThe ten principlestopics are pursuitfinding the person for you destiny vulnerability connection trust practicality monotony infidelity loyalty and wisdom Each chapter talks about the principle in uestion but the majority of ach chapter is about the flip side of the principle the things that take place in relationships when things go wrong The chapter about pursuit for instance talks about the rise of online dating and the people we miss meeting because we A Home of Another Kind excludentire categories of people in our preferences and matching algorithmsMy full review of this book can be found here Daniel Jones has given us one of the most The Voyage of the Norman D., As Told by the Cabin Boy enjoyable transparent texts on the subject without being overly Psychoanalytic Anthropologic faith based or thank God Leo Buscaglia ish With his unassuming almost self deprecating POV and correspondence from 50000 contributing readers he helps his readers navigate the traditional as well as the modern scenarios that we are forever prone tontangle ourselves in as we struggle to find intimacy A rare book on the topic that men will African Successes, Volume I enjoy not unlike spending anvening with an old friend who has become very knowledgeable on the topic of love I wish I d read it when I was twenty five Raymond Hutson physician and author My interest in the book came from listening to the NPR segment of the book is reflecting on the thousands of reader stories from the NYT Modern Love column But this all breaks down in chapters seven Monotony and Trigger Samaniego 1 (Stallion, eight Infidelity Then the author breaks the. From theditor of the New York Times' popular Modern Love column the inspiration for the anthology tv series starring Tina Fey Andy Garcia Anne Hathaway Catherine Keener Dev Patel and John Slattery the story of love from beginning to Lehrbuch Der Physiologie end or notLove We want it We need it We pay it homage with songs and poems and great works of art And when we lose it there's no pain as intense orxcruciating For cent.

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Working formula to present the tired dated judgemental and whiny attitudes of him and his wife Cathi Those two chapters ruin the book The author is definitely pro monogamy and a bit of a misogynist Women to him can be summed up by needing alone time with cherished personal items a little refrigerator that wouldn t always be raided by Plastic Techniques in Neurosurgery (English Edition) eBook: James Tait Goodrich, David A. Staffenberg: Amazon.fr: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l. everyone a window seat for reading and drinking tea a yoga mat forxercise and meditation and a single bed for sleeping p 125 I had high hopes for this book a Valentine s gift from James and I was not disappointed The Modern Love column is one of my favorite things to read and it was fun to recognize references to pieces I ve read in the book I was also pleasantly surprised by how funny the writing was Despite the title this book doesn t take itself too seriously or aim to provide a secret insight we all need It s mostly just amusing reflections on lots of very interesting stories of love Not very illuminating I was Sexy, Healthy, Food - 25 Clean-eats, Gluten-free Recipes expecting anxploration of the insights gained about relationships from the Modern Love columns I suppose the book was that But the author s tone was inconsistent and ultimately off putting At times he is completely sincere and personal as when he is sharing stories about his own marriage or Marketing Excellence 3 empathizing with the subjects of his columns But at other times it is difficult to tell if he is being sarcastic or condoning the behavior of subjects whongage in uestionable behavior in pursuit of love The chapter on Vulnerability is a great YARN Essentials example he provides instructions on booty texting and hooking up Is he being ironic Playful I don t know It would have been a different matter if he had been objective through thentire book or nonexistent completely as he is in his columns Unfortunately Jones is a better Wild Wicked Scot (Highland Grooms, editor than he is an author I ve alwaysnjoyed the Modern Love column in the New York Times I suspect partly because as someone who finds the idea of a traditional relationship with his and hers towels and a white picket fence very off putting I liked the variety of relationships addressed and the fact that as often as not they didn t Black on Blonde end with two people holding hands watching the sun set In column form Modern Love works great In book form not so much Daniel Jones has anasy to read style and he does a good job with the overall format of the book The problem is that there s just too much of it and it all seems vaguely familiar It s a bit like watching the movie version of a short story you read years ago you start to recognize things or think you recognize things and since you sort of know where it is going it s hard to maintain The Walters Art Museum the Art of Ancient Greece enthusiasm particularly because in the readingverything got where it was going faster Another appealing aspect of the column is that you never really know where the story is going in book form you get all the American Nietzsche endings Nearly all thesendings are happy or at least positive while they did divorce Art, Culture, and Cuisine eventuallythey stayed together for 15 years until the kids left home and that was a little disappointing In thend the book plays things too safe Rather than Berlioz and His Century explore love as the title suggested this book was of a love cheerleader According to the book you should fall in love but in a safe organic. Uries we've been trying to figure it out control it or just get better at it As theditor of a column about love for the New York Times Daniel Jones reads thousands of stories about people's intimate relationships the ones that soar crash or hum along from the bizarre to the supposedly “normal” It's possible that he's read true love stories than anyone on arth In Love Illuminated he teases apar.

And long term compatible way after taking a few risks just so you don t regret not taking risks You should come up with some magically uitable way to share chores and last names You should keep thing Blood Runs Green excited but not in any way that might disrupt anything And you should stick byach other no matter what There were no risks and other than a few uick mentions of gay marriage some boilerplate remarks about how great it is and admonitions about open marriages nothing non traditional Even the story about a 30 year age gap turned into the older man staying by his wife s hospital bed as she dies young collective awwww please If this is your sort of thing you ll love it but I think I ll stick to reading the column LOVED IT Jones has been the Charting an Empire editor of the New York Times revered Modern Love column for 10 years and the book provides a nuanced look at the ups downs and nitty gritty of life love and relationships in the modern world Anxcerpt I particularly likedWe all have failings and insecurities physical and Colored Property emotional scars that we re trying to hide or at least demphasize Desire and Truth early in a relationship I can t say when the best time is to come clean and become fully vulnerable no one canWhat I can say is whatveryone already knows or should Vulnerability is what love is all about And vulnerability involves yielding control revealing weakness The Exiles Gallery embracing imperfection and opening ourselves up to the possibility of loss Only when we open ourselves to the possibility of loss can we allow for the possibility of love Daniel Jones Love Illuminated A pragmatic amusing view of romantic love by NY Timesditor Daniel Jonesas we poke prod analyse and theorize let s not get so carried away in our push for answers that we Dislocating China end up with a cold carcass on our hands Let s try tombrace love s complexities as much as we try to Childerley explain them away And let s make sure we step backvery so often with humility to marvel at the mystery of what love does best it helps us to be good Jones Cultural Excursions editor of the New York Times Modern Love column reflects humorously on several of love s many phases and iterations He often draws from his own life but also includes anecdotes gathered from the manyssays he has read over the yearsHaving Cruelty and Laughter enjoyed Modern Love a collection of some of the column s greatest hits I was interested in Jones own thoughts on the topic I mostly found it interesting thearlier parts of the book so than the later I would have liked to have heard about the way Cop Knowledge editing the column has influenced his views on love Mostly I didn t come away from it feeling illuminated but I read it fairly uickly and it did keep my interest I d say it s worth reading but don t go into it with highxpectations Good compilation of wisdom from the popular columnAs a devoted Modern Love reader I was Cultural Aesthetics excited to see how Jones would share all the things he has learned about love Overall a great read if you want toxplore a bit me about the world of love and its place in your life The sections on monogamy and passion and cheating were a little off for me but that could just be my own lifelove Class and Conformity experience affecting my read The conclusion was interesting do we feel love our choose love Still contemplating that one. T this mystifyingmotion that thrills crushes and sustainsDrawing from the 50000 stories that have crossed his desk over the past decade Jones xplores ten aspects of love pursuit destiny vulnerability connection trust practicality monotony infidelity loyalty and wisdom and creates a lively funny and nlightening journey through this universal human xperience that jangles the head and stirs the heart.

Daniel Jones has edited the Modern Love column in The New York Times since its inception in 2004 His books include “Love Illuminated Exploring Life’s Most Mystifying Subject with the Help of 50000 Strangers” “The Bastard on the Couch” and the novel “After Lucy” Jones appears weekly on the Modern Love podcast and is a consulting producer for Studios’ show “Modern Love” He lives in N